Story Provided by William Purcell
www.lakotawritings.com

Once the willow has been bent into shape it is then covered with buffalo hides so that no light can penetrate inside the enclosure. The darkness within is to remind me of my own ignorance. The openings of the sacred door also remind me of the four winds, four seasons, four directions and the four ages of man.

The holy men now offer up their own prayers. A drum begins to beat and soon the rhythm is the same as the rhythm of my heart. I stand tall and silent as they rub my body with sage. Then I am led into the lodge. This is now my world for it contains all those things that is necessary for my existence. Earth, fire, air and water. I find a place upon the ground to sit. I am facing the center of the lodge. For here will be placed the heated stones from which the steam will rise when cold water is poured upon them.

Inside I am not alone, others, like me, have also begun this journey to purify themselves. We do not speak one to another. We do not move. We are left alone inside the darkness of the womb so that we can be as one with the Great Spirit so that he can then direct us towards the true paths that we all seek. Only the holy man who enters the lodge with us will add the water to the stones. And those left outside will only enter to bring us more stones from the fire.

At first I keep my eyes open, although they cannot see, for the colour of my world is now black. I feel the strain at first as my eyes fight to seek and identify any little detail of light that might surround me. But in time they learn that open or closed they must accept whatever it is that is before them. Just as I must accept whatever it is that the Great Spirits wants me to see. This simple lesson teaches me that like my eyes I must not allow myself to become deluded into seeing something which is not there.

I hear the chant of another close by and I fight the urge to listen to his words. These words are not meant for me. I close my eyes and focus on my own prayers. For these are to be my words and not the words of another. They should express the sentiments contained within my own heart. Now I offer them up to the Great Spirit. I then hear the first drops of cold water wash down upon the heated stones. It instantly produces the sound of evaporation as it hisses into the enclosed space around us.

I feel the heat instantly upon my naked body. It washes over me, encompassing me, like the gentle warmth of a mothers touch. My heart rejoices at such tender thoughts and quickly I offer up another prayer thanking the Great Spirit for allowing me to enjoy such feelings once more in my life.

The heat within the lodge is kept constant. The knowledge of the holy men during such ceremonies is a wonder to behold. No form of communication exists between those on the inside and those on the outside, and yet each knows when the stones are to be replaced. Silently one enters and replaces the stones that have already given up their powers. These are then taken away to be placed once more within the heat of the fire outside.

Within the darkness of the lodge the holy man moves silently around washing the sweat from our bodies. Again he rubs the sweet smelling sage upon our skin and the air is filled with it’s fragrance. I am comforted by his actions. Through him I feel that I am still connected to my people. It is a lesson that I am careful to behold. Without family and friends I am alone in the world. Without the help of others I cannot hope to achieve all that I am. Without them I am nothing.

The heat does not overcome me but enriches me. It helps to carry me to a higher plane. My mind does not become numb but is alive with many wondrous thoughts. My body does not become weakened but instead it grows stronger because of the encouragement that is being given to me by the strength of the heat.

All the old thoughts once held by me are washed away within the sweat of my body. New ones are then planted by the Great Spirit. For he alone, in all his wisdom, knows the paths that I must follow in my life. Now in the comfort of the sweat lodge I have made myself ready to accept all these things if the Great Spirit chooses to bless me with such sacred thoughts and deeds.

Long into the day and night I pray. I close my eyes but do not sleep. The heat tries to enslave me within the comfort of its folds, urging me to rest awhile, but I know that I must be strong. For to hear one must open up the inner soul, to see one must let the light into one’s heart, to receive wisdom one must be alert and take notice when such times come. I must now face such temptations, such as the need to sleep, and have the strength to ignore them. I know this time to be a test of my inner being and I am ready and willing to meet it.

I sing and pray throughout my time as I await the moment of my rebirth. The holy men know that this time draws near and they wash me again with sage. The stones are piled high and more water is poured down upon them. The steam is so thick that I can now taste it within my mouth. I close my eyes to stop the sweat from running in. My breathing is heavy and labored. I feel as if no air is getting into my chest. Throughout it all there is no sense of time. Outside I do not know whether it is light or dark. The holy man then begins to sing.

This is the first time that I have heard his voice since the time we entered the lodge. At first I do not understand his words. They seem distant and strange to my ears. I listen more closely. And then, as if from out of a mist, his words come to me.

Oh great spirit
guide us in this time
show these brave warriors
the way to the sacred paths
for they are now
pure of thoughts and deeds.

And then he begins a chant that soon each and every one of us take up.

I am reborn a Lakota
So shall I die a Lakota.

Our voices grow loud and strong as we sing with full and open hearts. Then as each of us repeats the words over and over again a hand so strong and powerful, that it literary lifts me up off of the ground, now picks me up and ejects me from the lodge. One moment I am in the comfort of the womb and the next I have been thrust out into the world. I lay naked upon the ground blinded by the bright light that surrounds me. I feel a hand upon my arm and with eyes that are closed tight against the all powerful light I then allow myself to be led, like the child that I have become, away from the sweat lodge.

It is to the soothing waters of Weeping Willow Creek that I have been brought. Here I am allowed to both bathe and to taste the delicious sweet tasting water. My eyes slowly open and before me I see the smiling face of my father. For it is he who has led me here. As a boy he guided me now as a man he guides me too and I am grateful for all that he is. When I am done I am taken back to the bank and there laid before me are new garments, made by my mother’s hand. These are now to adorn my body. My rebirth has taken place. Now I can go back to the Human Beings purified and touched by the spirits. For I am now willing and able to take my rightful place amongst them.

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Copyright © William Purcell 2002